Take a load off, Juliet
by itslukey
Summary: Juliet writes a letter to Ben during his captivity in the Swan Station, regarding how she feels about his actions in the past, and her thoughts on whether she wants him to come back or not. Also deals with the state of the Others without their leader.


Juliet has a lot she needs to tell Ben; the thing is, he's being held prisoner elsewhere on the Island. The title is inspired by 'The Weight', by The Band. The events of this letter take place anytime between November 18 and 25, 2004 (days 58 and 64 on the Island), which was the time in which Ben was captive at the Swan Station. A lot of the events discussed in this letter, such as the circumstances in which Ben was captured, are purely my own theories and ideas.

---

_My first thought was, 'how could he be so reckless?' I was sitting in my house, I was reading Shephard's file again. Tom walked straight in; my first clue that something was wrong, the fact that he forgot to knock. The only thing that puzzles me more than the fact that you managed to get caught by that woman's sticks-and-stones trap is the fact that Tom managed to get all the way back here without being seen by her. I was also confused at first by the fact that you had decided to go with Tom to move the beechcraft over the Pearl, but then, of course I knew, you wanted to get caught._

_Not surprisingly, no one else has figured this out yet. You wouldn't have told anyone else that you needed Shephard because then you would have to explain why you need a spinal surgeon, that you have a tumor on your spine. And then you would have to explain how that could happen. Your people would lose faith in you, and you would have nothing. Less than you already had._

_There's also the issue of that man that you kept mentioning, from the plane, John Locke. I vividly remember you mentioning him that day because at first I didn't think that was actually his name. You said that Jacob was interested in him and I could tell, that was eating you up. Do you think that's why you've gotten sick, because your master has found a new obsession? Knowing you, you've gone to either observe this man or to kill him before the others realize what has happened to him. I read the file that Mikhail compiled about him, and I'd be worried if I were you, too. Repairing a broken spine is a lot more work than removing a tumor._

_Everyone here is hysterical, as you probably expected. A lot of people's first plan of action was to storm the Swan, shoot all of those plane crash survivors and save you. I didn't know exactly how to explain to them, that would be the exact opposite of what you wanted. People were sent over to Mikhail's to help him monitor you. With them gone and Bea's people over at the Door camp watching Dawson, this place is nearly empty. I can see everyone's a lot more unsettled, too. After we lost Ethan and Goodwin, they're taking your absence a lot more serious._

_With you and Bea out of the place, I think Tom's enjoying his new leadership a little too much. He hasn't really said anything about getting you back, and if it weren't for the daily reports from the Flame, I think he'd probably drop the issue of you from the agenda entirely. I can't say he's alone in that respect._

_My days here a lot more enjoyable when I don't have to worry about what you'll do to the next man I look at. You have no idea how you hurt people, how much I hate you for what you did to Goodwin, to Harper. She still doesn't even know yet, I think Danny and Tom expect me to tell her. The only attractive thing about that prospect is that I can't say she won't kill you herself if I do. My God, Ben, the mess you make._

_For your sake, I hope you've lied to the crash survivors well enough about who you are so that they don't feel the need to do anything drastic. I remember reading something about a torturer?_

Juliet read what she had written. So many things that she wished she was strong enough to say aloud. If she was completely honest, she wished she would never get the chance. She ripped the piece of paper she had written on once, then again, and dropped the pieces into the trash. Juliet went outside, she walked toward the Stanhope house.

---

Please review if you liked it. Please review if you didn't.


End file.
